grief (the story of one's life)
by LilliKomTrikru
Summary: On the anniversary of Krypton's death, Kara wakes up alone in the Fortress of Solitude. OR: The story of Kara's grief through the years.


**Author's Note: The idea of this fic struck when a friend and I were talking about Kara's grief. The idea stuck with me for a few weeks until I finally decided to write it down. Enjoy, and please, please review ;-)**

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On the anniversary of Krypton's death, Kara wakes up alone in the Fortress of Solitude.

It's become a tradition for her in a way. An unhealthy one, yes, but a tradition nevertheless. Every year during this time, she leaves National City, packs up a small bag with a few clothes, food, and a knife (Zilo's knife, the knife which the tall boy had slipped into Kara's wrist before Krypton had exploded. _I hope you never need to use it on earth_ he had explained to the blonde, tears rolling down his cheeks. _There, it is invisible and nothing can break it. Kara, I love you. Remember that Kars, please, please remember that._ Kara had kissed the boy on the cheek before her mother dragged her out of the room. It would be the last time Kara would ever feel anything close to happiness.) She flies to the fortress and locks herself there for the next week and a half, staring at the wall. She counts the days, waits, and _feels_ the death of a whole entire planet.

During the nights of her seclusion, Kara turns on many hologram crystals. They are all different, each illuminating a perfect picture of anyplace on her home planet she wishes, making Kara feel less homesick. Each night, Kara picks a separate one (she doesn't want to forget all the places she misses), but her favorite one is the _sodya_ , a Kryptonian ballroom. She braids her hair like she used to on Krypton, (it's messy and sloppy because Astra used to do it for her, but it's still beautiful to her). She puts on her traditional dance gown, the one she had asked Winn to make for her so she could find some comfort in the clothing she had grown up in. It had the same design and colors of her favorite gown on Krypton, and she remembers the countless nights dancing in it. Tears sting her eyes as she gets flashbacks of her dead planet, but she shakes them off. ( _Krypton is dead, Karyana, it's gone. There are no use tears now. So stand up and be strong like everyone expects,_ she hears the ghost of her dead mother whisper above her.) She then orders Kelex to play her favorite songs, takes a huge shot of the alcohol that she stashed from the alien bar, closes her eyes and _dances_. The blonde girl spins around the room, tapping and jumping, graceful and fluid in her movements. She sees the ghosts of everyone she ever loved or knew on her planet, dancing and singing with her, but, ( _I was tipsy,_ is her explanation when she wakes up.)

At the end of the week, Kara cleans up all the mess she had made leaving the fortress as if nobody was ever there, and leaves the special place with a smile. Alex greets her with a mirroring smile, once she flies back to the DEO. The brunette runs to her, capturing the blonde in a tight hug. ( _I'm glad you're back, did you have a good week?_ Alex had asked later. Kara broke out into a grin, nodding.) Her sister knows where she goes every year, and it's refreshing to Kara knowing that her sister wasn't worried about her.

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The first time Kara ever left for her retreat, she was in high school. She had just turned 16, and Kal- Clark had flown to Midvale while she and Alex were doing homework. Jeremiah and Eliza had sat her down, Clark across of her. "Next week is the anniversary of Krypton's explosion," He tells her bluntly, scanning her face for any reaction.

Kara was tired. She never got sleep, waking up from nightmares every single excruciating night. The nightmares of watching her whole planet die, ironically. "I know." Kara had said back, not even bothering to avoid eyes contact. "It's at 3:47 on Thursday of next week."

There was a long silence, the Danvers watching the cousins carefully. Finally, Clark sighed, "Kara? Do yo- Will you be ok?"

Kara shrugged. "It's been 26 years." She observed her cousin for a few seconds, before adding "But then again, why do _you_ care? You left me after all."

 _Silence._

"How do you know the exact time, Kara?" Alex had asked, sensing the tensions between the two Kryptonians.

Kara ignored her, eyes fixed on Clark. "Tell me Kal, I really want to know. Why do you care? Why now?"

"Don't speak to me like that Kara," Clark's angry, but the fear inside of him grows.

 _Yea, Kaykay, don't speak to your dear little cousin like that!_ She hears the ghost of Zilo whisper.

Her eyes widen as she jumps to her feet. "Kara?" Jeremiah whispered, careful, trying not to startle her.

"Leave. Me. Alone."

The ghost of her best friend on Krypton laughs. _I'm just trying to have a good time with my best friend, being dead is no fun._

"Zi! Please, just leave me alone ok, you're already in my nightmares," the blonde choked out, tears stinging her beautiful blue eyes. "Clark, can I stay at the Fortress of Solitude for 2 weeks alone?" she asked her cousin, as an afterthought. "I need time to figure out how to handle everything."

"Umm, yeah, sure," Clark had answered, eager to end the conversation. "I can take you right now if you want."

Kara had nodded, relieved. She ran upstairs packing up everything she needed (including her- Zilo's knife), coming back down in 2 minutes.

"Are you sure Kara? What about school?" Eliza asked, not too keen on the idea.

Jeremiah took her hand in his. "She'll be fine, Eliza. I think she needs to take time and think. She needs to _heal._ " Kara had nodded gratefully at him, said her goodbyes, and took off with the mighty Superman.

Two weeks later, Kara had returned with a smile. She had fewer nightmares, pleasing the Danvers family. They had no idea what she had done in the Fortress, she refused to say, just smiling secretly when they had asked. But, boy, were they happy seeing her smile. Maybe Kara would never recover, never feel as happy as she was on Krypton, but at least she was recovering. Slowly, and piece by piece, they would mend her heart, together.

(Later, she had told them about why she was so different. She told them about realizing to take the voices and images in her head and use it to her own good. To laugh at her best friend's stupid Kryptonian jokes, roll her eyes at her mother and father arguing, and smile when her cousin and aunt Astra were singing together like they used to during Morning Light. She told them about dancing and singing to the loads of songs Kelex had stored, to paint all of the places she used to love, and how it felt relieving to be and act like a _Kryptonian._ )

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It became a tradition. The week that Krypton exploded, Kara would always leave. During the small retreat, she would never cry. It was her thing, in a way. Crying would only take place after nightmares or when she got flashbacks, but never during _her week_ , as she called it. The only time she ever did cry during the week was when it fell a few days after Alex had killed Astra. She held her tears, not wanting Lucy or James or Winn to see her like that, for the 6 whole days. She held the tears in front of Cat, who had hired a new assistant, Shobian, to make her feel humiliated. And to Kara, those 6 days felt like someone kept on stabbing her, never stopping.

Once she got to the fortress, she had let the tears flow. She had wrapped herself in blankets that no longer smelled like Krypton, and _cried_.

She _cried_ and _cried_ and _cried_ until she had _cried_ herself to sleep.

(That same night, Lucy and James get suspicious about where Kara is. Alex, still mad at her sister, had snorted. _Oh, she's probably dancing around with her aunt Astra._ Lucy had furrowed her eyebrows. Astra was Supergirl's aunt, not Kara's. Unless…?)

Kara wanted to dance, she really did. Just she couldn't. For the whole week, Kara stayed in her little cocoon, wrapped in her blankets, crying. Even though she didn't do anything for 8 days, she was _tired_.

 _Tired_ of crying.

 _Tired_ of everyone depending on her.

 _Tired_ of fighting.

 _Tired_ of being Supergirl.

And Rao, she was _tired_ of losing people.

(That year, when she returns, she doesn't come back with a real smile. She wishes she could, she really does, but instead, she put on a fake smile that always seems to fool everyone. It does. Nobody notices. Nobody notices her blotchy face or swollen cheeks. Nobody asks her if she's ok, and rao, _rao_ , it hurts like hell.)

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Non doesn't die. Miraculously, he lives. His eyes heal and he becomes a normal DEO prisoner. They don't torture him, no, but make it feel like he's not there, like he had died. Kara visits him one day, bringing him a recording of his favorite songs on Krypton. She closes the room door, before opening Non's glass door (He looks surprised for a minute before regaining his posture). Kara paces around, not knowing what to say. She doesn't even know why she's here.

" _Karyana,_ " He says finally, using her full name.

Kara's eyes snap to his, her blue orbs showing fury and anger. "Why?"

"I could not afford to lose earth the way we lost Krypton."

"Spirits, I know that!" Kara forces out, breathing heavily. "But why would y-you… you do something like that?! Rao, I felt normal for like 2 minutes, but all this freaking crap happens! I was fine, recovering and healing, and then red kryptonite happens, and the black mercy and Astra had to die. Do you know how much I wish to be back on Krypton? To talk, sing, dance, like the normal Kara Zor-El? Not to fly around saving people's lives. Earth has firefighters and police to do that. They _pay_ people to do that, yet they need me!"

There's a silence following the rant. Non looks at his niece, observing her. "Your parents are proud of you Kara, and so are Astra and I. We watched you, you know? We watched you from the day you were adopted by the earth family, we watched you grow."

Kara is staring a Non, eyes wide. "Y-you were _watching_ me?!"

"Yes," Non says matter-of-factly. "My point is, Karyana, that you have lived this way for so long, why give up now? You stay at the fortress, it is your way of coping. The world will heal itself, and slowly, so will you."

Kara feels tears well up in her eyes. She gives the man a watery smile, "I missed your advice, uncle Non."

Non nods, leaving the topic at that. He remembers something, a small smile playing on the edge of his lips. "So Kara, tell me about your idiot boss Cat Grant. You know, your beautiful aunt Astra contemplated slitting her throat."

"She promoted me," Kara grins, previous emotions gone.

Their playful conversation lasts for two and a half hours until J'onn and Alex come in, kryptonite weapons drawn. Kara gets up, handing her uncle the device she had brought in.

"All of your favorite songs," she explains while walking out. "Mostly the ones you and Aunt Astra used to dance to during morning light, but some other ones are on there. Next time I come, you can give me it back and I can put more songs if you want." (Kara doesn't notice her alien dad and foster sister's questioning looks.)

 _The world will heal itself, and slowly, so will you._ Non's word repeat in her mind, over and over again. _The world will heal itself, and slowly, so will you._

(And that night, for the first time in years, Kara falls asleep with a smile. )

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It starts off as a small pain in her abdomen. Nothing serious, nothing she hasn't experienced in her lifetime. But slowly, it gets worse. She's sitting at the alien bar when the pain gets so bad she can't get up.

She doesn't cry, doesn't speak, doesn't breathe. She waits.

She _can't_ cry.

She _can't_ speak.

She _can'_ t breathe.

(But she waits. She waits for it to pass, but it doesn't. It stays, and Kara knows immediately that something's wrong.)

( _It's the same symptoms as- no, Kara, no it's not that._ )

(But it might be, and that's what Kara scared of.)

The realization hits her like someone threw a block of Kryptonite at her. It hurts.

The bartender is the first person to notice her fearful expression. She a bit older than Kara, curly red hair flowing over her shoulders. Kara shakes her head when she sees the woman looking at her.

(It's nothing. Nothing to worry about. It will pass soon.)

( _But will it?_ )

At that moment, Kara jumps to her feet. Every limb, muscle, bone, and joint protests, but she runs out of the bar as fast as she can.

She runs and runs and runs until her legs give out. She falls onto her knees, laughing and crying at the same time.

(She's not sure which one is which, at this point. She's not even sure she _cares_.)

Because, rao, she's dreamed of this happening since she was a child. She's been dreaming of this since she came to earth.

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Nobody questions her suddenly changed demeanor. Snapper changes that one day, usual dislike for the blonde Kryptonian higher than ever.

"Ponytail. You have a major interview in a few weeks. An amateur like you needs to prepare and I don't want to work with your crappy attitude."

Kara freezes, and the whole room quiets down. She clears her throat, trying not to seem nervous. "I have something next week, and also, I don't think I want to do this interview."

"Well, why don't you cancel it. And why don't you want to do it?" He states gruffly, unamused. "Nothing is more important in your pathetic life than interviewing two people more famous than you will ever be?"

Kara's anxiousness vanishes, as the Kara Zor-El inside of her takes over. ( _Of all places, you pick a board meeting?_ she thinks _I wonder what Ms. Grant was thinking when she hired you._ ) Instead, she controls herself, saying something that won't get her fired immediately (or at least she _hopes_ it won't get her fired). "At least my life is less pathetic than yours."

There is pin drop silence in the room, people no daring enough to say anything. Even Cat, Lena, and James are silent.

Kara looks terrifying, eyes blazing under her glasses. All signs of innocent Kara 'Sunny' Danvers are gone. Snapper glances nervously around the room, also not speaking. Kara takes this as a cue to continue. "There is nothing more important than visiting…"

 _Krypton._

 _Krypton._

 _Krypton._

"My childhood home." Kara swallows, biting her lip. Now, both Kara Danvers and Kara Zor-El are gone, as the _broken_ Kara seeps through.

"What, you're a mama and daddy's girl, always coming home when they ask?" Snapper fires back, weakly.

Kara snorts bitterly, "My parents are dead. So really, chief, excuse me if I want to visit their ghosts." She walks out like that, not bothering to look back. When she gets to the door, she stops, turning around facing everyone in the room.

( _Do it Kars, just do it._ She hears Zilo encourage. _Don't think about it, just do it.)_

"Also, you have my two-week notice. I'm quitting."

(She has a reason for quitting. She hasn't told anyone yet, but she has a great reason. She knows it. She _knows_ that she's… _no, Kara, no. Don't think about it._ )

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The pain gets worse. Not unbearable, but worse. It gets harder to wake up in the morning, and Kara's already given up being Supergirl. The crime rates are low surprisingly, the alien and human communities getting along. People try to talk to her, to get her to open up, but she doesn't. She ignores everyone, locking herself in her apartment or the fortress.

Occasionally, Kara goes to the alien bar, finding the presence of other non-humans soothing _._ One day, the same bartender from before greets her. The redhead woman looks like a human, except for the tattoo on the side of her face.

She sits Kara down at a table, before placing herself across of her. She puts two shots of alien liquor on the table. "Kara, is it? My shift just got done, I want to talk to you."

Kara nods, confused, and not hiding it well.

The woman chuckles, "I'm Mikila."

"Nice to meet you, Mikila."

"You are Kryptonian," She states, blunt and to the point. Kara opens her mouth to protest, but no words come out, _I am Kryptonian, so what's the point of hiding it now?_ The redhead watches Kara for a second before smiling. "So am I."

 _Shit._

Kara grabs one of the shots of the alcohol and drowns it in one go. "S-say what?"

"I know it's a lot to take in, but you aren't the last Kryptonian. Well besides your cousins, but that doesn't matter."

Kara raises her eyes at the woman. "Prove it."

Mikila rolls up her sleeve, rubs her arm twice, and Kara gulps. "Wow. Ok, well hello Mikila De-Len."

"You are taking this fairly well, Karyana Zor-El." There are playfulness and amusement coating the woman- Mikila's voice making Kara relax.

Kara shrugs helplessly, "You should have told me earlier. I'm d-" she stops, realizing what she almost said. (She still hasn't had the courage of saying it out loud yet.) She locks eyes with the older girl, searching her face for any expressions.

Her eyes are filled with warmth, not curiousness to Kara's surprise. "It won't be long now, will it?"

"Rao," Kara whispers, slowly. "Rao, you know?"

"Kara?"

"You can't- don't tell anyone. Please, Mikila, you can't tell anyone."

Mikila nods but doesn't say anything. Kara's grateful. She doesn't want to hear anything, she doesn't want to speak. The two girls sit there in silence, staring at the wall.

(Kara doesn't sleep that night, she can't shake off the fact that she and Kal aren't the only ones left.)

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They become fast friends, so close that it seems that they have known each other since they were both babies and haven't just met yesterday.

To Kara, Mikila is someone who understands what she has been through.

To Mikila, Kara is someone who she can laugh, dance, and sing with.

(They both witnessed the death of their entire planet, and now they have each other, not bearing it on their own shoulders. It's unfamiliar and weightlifting at the same time.)

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Days later, Kara finally builds up the courage to tell her (earth) family. She gathers Alex, J'onn, Maggie, Winn, M'gann, and Eliza in a room at the DEO.

(Mikila's standing at the corner of the room for moral support. Close enough for Kara to sense her presence but far enough that the others don't question her.)

Kara straightens her posture, taking a deep breath. "I'm dying."

Eliza starts crying immediately, but the others stay silent.

Alex doesn't believe her (or won't, Kara doesn't know.) "What do you mean? Kara, you're a-a Kryptonian! You can't die on earth unless you get super older or if something happens to you with Kryptonite or if you solar flare!" Her words get more frantic, and edgy as she talks.

Kara shakes her head, biting her lip. "I'm dying Alex, there's nothing we can do. I have a few months."

(Eliza starts crying harder as Alex joins in.)

The silence in the room is suffocating and suddenly the blonde can't breathe. She closes her eyes and feels tears make their way down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry, Alex, I'm so sorry."

Alex pulls her in for a hug, and Kara feels her sisters silent sobs against her neck. Eliza joins in, and soon everyone follows. Kara is buried in a blanket of the people she loves when a thought hits her.

 _I'm going to lose Earth._

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Cat calls her to Catco.

People notice her, clear a path, and watch as she strides into their boss's office confidently. There is an unknown red-haired lady behind her, a tattoo on her face. Once she's inside, she closes the glass door so nobody can hear the conversation about to happen.

Cat, Snapper, James, and Lena are all in the room, waiting for her. Kara walks towards the couch but stands at the edge, not sitting down. Cat glances at Mikila uncomfortably and the younger blonde seems to notice.

"Kila, why don't you wait outside?" she murmurs softly, nodding at her friend. "I will be out soon."

" _I don't trust this 'snappy' guy with you."_ The woman responds in Kryptonese, a language the others don't understand.

Kara snorts loudly, making the group even more uneasy. " _It's fine, I've dealt with Cat Grant for 3 years. Plus, I don't think the others like that an intimidating woman with scary tattoos on her face is guarding their ex-employee."_

Mikila's lips tug into an amused smile before she turns to leave. "An intimidating woman with scary tattoos on her face huh? I like the new title."

"Go…" Kara whines pointing towards the glass door. Mikila sticks out her tongue and finally leaves.

There is an awkward silence, nobody speaking.

Kara clears her throat, "You called me, Ms. Grant?"

Cat nods, locking her eyes with Kara's. "You worked as my assistant for 4 years Kiera, you think I don't need a proper reason for your quitting?"

"Well, first of all, from the 4 years I have worked here you still don't bother to call me Kara. That sounds like a pretty good reason to me doesn't it?" Kara asks, emotions nonexistent and voice dull. "So cut the crap and tell me what you want."

Cat is silent, appalled at what Kara just said so Lena and James take over. "Kara, please, we just want a good reason."

"I…" Kara says slowly, glancing at Mikila's form through the glass wall, "I'm…"

 _Do I say that I'm dying or that I'm Supergirl?_

Kara sighs, mentally picking the latter. "I'm Supergirl."

Nobody is surprised, much to Kara's confusion.

"They had suspicions, Kara." James smiles amused by the perplexed expression coloring his friend's face.

"Oh."

Cat softens slightly, "Kie- Kara, can you please give us an explanation? We're worried, and we just want to know."

Kara bites her lip, obviously contemplating on what to say. Finally, she turns to James. "James, did Winn tell you anything yet?"

James smiles sadly, glancing at the others, "Yeah. Yeah, he told me right after you told them. Kara, is it true?"

"It's true."

"Are you going to tell them?" he asks gesturing to the other people in the room.

She nods, not even caring about the confidentiality of her illness anymore. "If you really want a reason, I will give you one. I'm dying."

Lena gasps, covering her mouth with her hand, "Kara, please be kidding."

"I'm not."

"Why aren't you scared or bothered by it?" She asks trying to keep herself cool.

"Lee, I've been dreaming of this since Krypton exploded. I've accepted the fact that I'm dying. Also, Lena, it's not like I'm going to die tomorrow. This is more of a long-term thing."

"Gods Kara, you're so strong. Has anyone told you that? Lena's eyes are welling up with tears as she talks. "You juggled being Cat's assistant, Supergirl, dealing with your planet's death, you managed _everything._ And now you're not even flinching when you tell people you're dying, gods Kara, gods."

Kara brings her friend into a hug when the thought she has been avoiding hits her again.

( _I'm going to lose earth._ )

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Mikila refuses to go to the fortress of solitude during Kara's week. She visits it with Kara sometimes but decides she won't go during the anniversary of Krypton's destruction. She understands it's Kara's week and respects it.

(She also has her own coping methods, ones that Kara leaves alone and doesn't question.)

They function like that, staying close but giving space at the same time.

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On the 38th anniversary of Krypton's death, Kara stays at the fortress longer. Mikila greets her when she comes back, expression mad. She stands at the edge of Kara's bed and walks toward her stiffly.

Mikila kisses her for the first time, holding Kara's face softly.

Kara jerks back, clearly not expecting it. She thought she was getting a lecture, not a kiss.

"Mikila," she whispers eyes wide and panicked. She doesn't want to hurt her friend, she's dying. She doesn't want to lose her, either. "Mikila, no. I… I can't lose you too, Mikila."

She doesn't want to lose Mikila, and above that, she doesn't want to leave her, to break her. She doesn't want to be the cause of Mikila's brokenness.

"Can you shut up?" Mikila whispers, hands fisted into Kara's hair. "We both can't go on living like this. You are torturing yourself, can I at least give you something? Can I at least give you a sense of love? You are going to die soon, and both of us have accepted that. But live the rest of your life, Kara, please. " They sit on the edge of the bed, leaning into each other.

Kara nods. "Ok. Ok, I can do that."

They don't say anything, just stay there, lost in their thoughts.

(Kara _can_ live the rest of life the way she wants, _can't_ she?)

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It gets harder to get up in the morning. Kara rarely leaves her apartment, the aching in her legs getting worse. Mikila is the one who does everything. From helping Kara change to getting food, she never complains. Her friend is dying and she wants to do everything she can to make her feel comfortable.

(Kara wonders what will happen to her belongings and makes Alex vow to give them to goodwill when she's gone.)

Alex and Mikila had a few conflicts at first, the tall brunette not understanding why Kara needed this Kryptonian she had just met so much. In time though, she made friends with Mikila when she saw how much the woman cared for Kara.

Eliza had started working at the DEO as a doctor to be closer to Kara. She insisted on giving her adopted daughter regular check-ups.

J'onn visited Kara often with M'gann. Alex and Maggie came together three times a week for movie night, inviting Lena, James, and Winn.

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The visits start when Kara's condition worsens drastically. Sometimes she sleeps for days straight, other times she's so restless she has to walk around despite the pain.

Alex, Maggie, Eliza, J'onn, Lena, James, and Winn come regularly. During the visits, Mikila always leaves, giving Kara and her friends and family some privacy.

(Every visit, they see Kara's condition worsen. She gets paler, skinnier, and weaker as the days go by.)

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Cat visits her one day. She makes her way through Kara's apartment, looking around. (It's bright and decorated contrasting to Kara's pale figure on the bed. Cat's never cared for the girl this much during the 3 years she had the blonde as her assistant. Now, it makes Cat sick to think how bad she had been treating the girl.)

Kara wakes up to her former boss sitting at the edge of her bed. She blinks twice to make sure she not seeing things.

"Ms. Grant," she croaks out, voice thick from disuse.

"Kara," the older blonde woman says matter-of-factly. "You look like crap."

Much to her surprise, Kara smiles. "It's getting harder to eat."

"Not long now, huh?" Cat whispers, a motherly attitude coating her voice.

"A few weeks."

Cat's surprised at how at ease Kara seems. She doesn't seem bothered by the fact that she's dying. Kara looks sick on the contrary. She _feels_ sick. Cat can see that. The way her eyes closed as a wave of pain passes her or the way she struggles to sit up.

"Kara. I just want to apologize for treating you so bad."

"Ms. Grant, don't. You made me a better person, inside and out. There is no reason for you to apologize."

"Kara, _please._ " She's not begging. Cat Grant doesn't beg. She's commanding. "Kara, just hear me out. I pushed you so hard and you were saving people's lives. You truly are Supergirl, Kara. The world will miss you, honey. Cat-Co will miss you."

She doesn't cry which Kara glad for, but Kara feels guilty at the unfiltered grief on the woman's face. "Thank you, Ms. Grant." She's fighting to keep her eyes open now, tiredness taking over.

Cat leans in, kissing Kara on the forehead. "I'll come back, I promise."

As sleep claims her, the same thought hits her again.

 _I'm going to lose earth._

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Winn comes alone, one night. He leans in, kissing Kara on the cheek.

"Don't go, Kara, please."

Kara looks him softly but doesn't answer. Finally, she smiles at him. "Can I ask you for a favor? Something after I'm…"

 _Dead._

 _Dead._

 _Dead._

"Gone." It's less harsh, taking into account that Winn just asked her to not die. "Winn, you have to take care of Mikila for me."

Winn nods. He can do that. He _can_ and _will_ give the dying woman her final wish.

"Kara… I'm going to miss you lots."

"I'm gonna miss you too."

( _I'm going to lose earth._ )

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(Lillian decides to let Jeremiah go a week before Kara's death. Both of them had heard about Kara's condition through Lena, and she lets Jeremiah go. It hits Lillian surprisingly hard, realizing how hard it would be for her if Lena died. Yes, she treated her daughter badly, but Lena getting hurt would hurt her more than words can describe. Lillian decides that Jeremiah deserves to be with his dying daughter.)

If it weren't for Alex, Eliza, and Mikila standing at the side, Kara may have thought she was hallucinating when her foster dad pressed a kiss to her feverish forehead.

The family watches her sleep, talking quietly with Mikila. They learn about the girl who cares about Kara so much. They learn about her story. In Kara's honor, they deem Mikila a part of the family. J'onn even decides to let Alex train Mikila so she can become a DEO agent.

(Mikila decides that meeting Kara was the best thing that could happen to her. Kara gave her friendship. Kara gave her family. And most of all, Kara gave her the feeling of love.)

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Kara wakes up Mikila one night.

"The pain is gone." She whispers, only feeling a warm sensation spreading through her body.

Mikila rolls over, facing Kara. "That's good, Kara. That's so good." She tucks a stray hair behind the girl's ears. Kara can't see her, it's dark.

"Rao, _rao,_ Kila."

"You're ok, Kara. You're ok."

Kara can't move, can't breathe, but the pain she was so accustomed to is gone. "It's gone."

Mikila responds with a half-choked off sob. It's a laugh and cry combined, and Kara can't figure out if she's relieved or scared.

"Say hello to my brother and dad for me," Mikila says, tears spilling down her cheeks. "I love you."

"Of course." Kara murmurs, eyes drooping closed. "L-love you…"

Mikila leans in, kissing Kara on the lips. It's the last thing Kara ever feels.

When Mikila pulls back, the blonde is already gone.

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.

Kara wakes up to a red light.

She sits up, groggily. Her head pounds slightly, and Kara has to dig her hand into the ground to steady herself.

"I've been waiting," a familiar voice drawls, startling her.

Kara rubs her eyes, vision clearing. She blinks twice at the figure hovering over her. " _Zilo!"_

The boy Kara had remembered is now a man, and she has to remind herself that she's not a 13 year old anymore either. Without thinking, Kara tackles the man into a hug with so much force that they both fall down.

"You've been waiting."

"I've been watching." Zilo snorts, the usual smirk plastered on his face. "Your life was pretty boring without me, Kara. But who cares now?"

Kara laughs against his shoulder. _I care, Zilo. I've been waiting for this moment for so many years,_ she wants to say. Instead, she just grins. "Who cares?"

.

.

.

(Years later, Winn still keeps his last promise to Kara. Mikila De-Len and Winslow Schott Jr. get married three years and eighteen days after their friend's passing.

They name their first daughter Kara.)

.

.

.

* * *

 **Thoughts?**


End file.
